James Kerkulah

I am from Liberia and forty-two. “We must always suspend judgment when we don’t have sufficient evidence because it’s always wrong for anyone, anywhere and at any time to believe in anything without sufficient evidence” – W. K. Clifford. That’s exactly what happened to me. For more than twenty years, I was a fervent believer in the bible and what it said without any evidence. However, I became to notice conflicts between what I believed and how the world works. In 2014 and 2015, the Ebola virus killed thousands of innocent people: children, pastors, and strong believers. If there was a good and loving god who is all-powerful, why is there so much suffering in the world? Why would a good and loving God allow millions of innocent people to suffer for no reason of their own? Why are there so many religions? Is Christianity the only true religion as I and millions of other people believed? So, I began to research in about October of 2014. I read so many books on religion, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, etc. By March of 2015, I was more confused than ever. Then I came across Sir Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion. Never in my life did I expect to become an atheist but what I read in that single book makes all the sense to me. There was no god, to begin with. I started reading other atheistic books like those of Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, etc. By July 2015, I stopped going to church. Remember that I was a Sunday school teacher, and many people look up to me for moral guidance. My friends and other family members all abandoned me. My wife threatened me with a divorce. My mother said I was no longer her son. Living in a country with nearly ninety percent of its population claiming to be Christians, I was having serious difficulties. Fortunately, my wife reconsidered her decision, but things were not so good with me, even at my workplace. People hated my disbelief and called me all sorts of names. Some even threatened me. My boss silenced me during meetings without any good reason. I could not present my weekly briefings at executive management meetings and things got so serious that I had to put it on record and communicated with the board of directors.
In October of 2020, three of my audit staff were murdered at the Liberia Revenue Authority due to an audit that we conducted and uncovered millions of tax dollars unaccounted for by the current Liberian government. The audit report leaked into the public and caused my life to be at serious risk. I received death threats not only for the audit but also for my atheism. I could not sleep at home or even go to work. I fled the country in November 2020 and came to Nigeria. I feel safe here now.