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The most common advice I hear in the community given to young ex-muslims is to NEVER come out to their parents. And generally it’s best to keep your apostasy a secret, due to how strict Muslim families tend to be. specially if you live in the middle east or north Africa, where most countries in these regions won’t give you any kind of help to escape abuse. what do you think?

personally, I agree. When you are not financially independent, it’s incredibly dangerous to come out to whoever is your guardian, no matter how open-minded and accepting you think they are. The emotional comfort coming out gives you, isn’t worth the risk of being shunned, threatened, abused, disowned or in some cases even killed. The smarter thing to do in my opinion is to distance yourself emotionally as much as you can from your home, and look somewhere else for support. look for people that share your same ideas, make friends, join communities, build your career. When you’re finally safe and away from those who can harm you, then feel free to come out as you wish.

Islam and Muslims have always been hostile towards disbelievers, and we see this everywhere in Quran and hadith. There are many many examples, but here is two for now.

Quran 16:106
“مَن كَفَرَ بِٱللَّهِ مِنۢ بَعْدِ إِيمَـٰنِهِۦٓ إِلَّا مَنْ أُكْرِهَ وَقَلْبُهُۥ مُطْمَئِنٌّۢ بِٱلْإِيمَـٰنِ وَلَـٰكِن مَّن شَرَحَ بِٱلْكُفْرِ صَدْرًا فَعَلَيْهِمْ غَضَبٌ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ”

translation: “He who disbelieves in Allah after his having believed, not he who is compelled while his heart is at rest on account of faith, but he who opens (his) breast to disbelief– on these is the wrath of Allah, and they shall have a grievous chastisement.”

Hadith Sahih al-Bukhari, 9:83:17
“عن ابن مسعودٍ رضي الله عنه: أن النبي ﷺ قال: لا يحل دم امرئٍ مسلمٍ يشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأني رسول الله إلا بإحدى ثلاث: الثيب الزاني، والنفس بالنفس، والتارك لدينه المفارق للجماعة.”

translation: Allah’s Apostle said, “The blood of a Muslim who confesses that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that I am His Apostle, cannot be shed except in three cases: In Qisas for murder, a married person who commits illegal sexual intercourse and the one who reverts from Islam (apostate) and leaves the Muslims.”

for more examples see : Sahih al-Bukhari, 9:89:271,  Sahih al-Bukhari, 4:56:814,  Quran 18:29, Quran 21:11, Quran 5:33

Scholars can argue whether Islam encourages the abuse and murder of apostates or not, in reality, we know very well that the general attitude towards the non-relgious and members of other religions from the Islamic community is hostile and cruel. We hear about it everyday, and there is no sign of improvement. So, I think staying closeted for as long as possible, is a solid advise, for those who aren’t in a place to defend themselves.