| Case:Ilham from Afghanistan Start date: march 7, 2021 Support: living costs and support to get a permit to stay somewhere Budget needed: monthly €350 for living costs plus budget for a permanent solution Ilham is a member of this community. If you want to get in touch or have a question for him, you can ask him directly via his profile page. |
Ilham lives a lie every day of his life so he may stay alive and somehow achieve the freedom he so desperately desires. ”I have to pretend i am a Muslim”
October 2022 – “I have to pretend I am a Muslim to be able to have a place to stay,” Ilham told SUN in a recent interview. “I am living in one of the most conservative provinces in Turkey and the university I study (at) try to further pan-Turkism and pan-Islamism.”
Ilham, a pseudonym to protect his real identity, is an Afghan refugee in his early 20s who has rejected Islam. He fled Afghanistan to escape his family and the brutal regime that would kill him for his lack of belief.
He likens his daily life now to a form of psychological torture.
“I am suffering from extreme anxiety and trauma,” said Ilham. “Sometimes it really gets over me.”
While Turkey is “safer” than Afghanistan it is still an Islamic country that has little tolerance for those who don’t believe. “It’s better than Afghanistan but far from freedom,” he said.
So Ilham wraps himself up in the lie that he is a believer in order to survive his daily life in a small, conservative city.
“The landlord thinks I am a Muslim,” explained Ilham. “He has forbidden me from having a girlfriend in house or drinking.”
He constantly parries questions about why people haven’t seen him at the mosque or why he isn’t praying. Ilham gives excuses to them like he was sick (which he often is) or that they must have just missed him.
School
In order to stay in Turkey, Ilham has to enrol in school. He recently extended his residency permit and he attends classes in public administration. But school presents its own challenges.
While Ilham knows some Turkish he struggles with the lectures which are completely in Turkish. His English is much better and he tries to obtain the textbooks in English. But the exams are in Turkish and lecturers lace all the instruction with pro-Islam rhetoric.
“They are highly Islamized and focused on pan-Turkism,” said Ilham.
His classmates and teachers treat Ilham differently because he is a foreigner. He says they do the same to four students from Africa. The difference, says Ilham, is those students come from wealthy African families.
Freedom
Ilham relies on the generosity of SUN supporters to assist him with his finances.
Recently he has moved again to a different apartment because it is all he can afford. Ilham says the apartment is livable but his neighbours are loud and of course very religious. He lives alone because for now that is safer. His apartment is sparse without a fridge or washing machine.
Ilham has few friends and has to be careful. He noted that a close friend recently smuggled himself into France. Ilham too thinks of freedom.
“I wish to find a way towards safety and I sure need financial assistance,” said Ilham.
